Eternal Blueness
by Dawn Allies
Summary: A Pidgeot Morph finds the sky for the first time then loses it just as quickly.


They said it would be like this. Well... actually. No. They didn't. We just assumed it.   
It was a true assumption at least.   
Well done for us  
..and me.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I sit.  
In the dark it is.   
It's been the dark for a very long time.... so long I can't remember when...  
But i can.  
I remember because I lived it and I -loved- it...  
They can't remove that memory from my head.. because it lives in my heart.   
They've tried to. Oh how they've tried...  
That's why I'm here now.  
Because they think this will work...   
That I'll forget it.   
Forget my one moment of freedom.  
  
  
I'd had the Facility for as far as I could remember. Some place underground. Some place unknown. Not that it mattered to me. I didn't even know there was an elsewhere to go. Yes, I had noticed that now and then someone would disappear for a long time and come back browner or red.. but they just said they were sick or that they'd had to go into one of the -special- rooms... I never knew what was in those. So I believed them. What else was there to do? Plus. If I couldn't trust them, who could I trust? They were all I'd ever known.   
There was one thing that always felt wrong though.. I never knew what it was. I just knew there was. It was cramped. Even when I had my free time in the large hall that took up three levels for height. The corridors were large as well. Not very much so. But enough that I could speed along them, feet off the ground. It helped when I was younger. There wasn't as much of me to take up space.   
I continued to live happy and ignorant to anything else there might of been. I was never suspecious, I never wondered. I believed all I was told. They had taught me everything I knew, no reason to think otherwise.   
That was... until...  
I'd been doing my normal.. skimming above the heads of others. Frightening anyone new to the Facility and even others who weren't. It was a hobby and something to do during the times I had free, as there was usually little else. Where I heard an explosion. It was large, I could tell from even this distance, mostly as the people I'd just passed fell over and so did various other equipment and furniture lining the hallway. Plus, the lights flickered, went out, flickered, went out and flickered again before turning off and the back ups went online. My curiosity was aroused like mad. They were always extremely cautious in the Facility, anyone caught doing something without authorization got extreme punishment. I'd seen it. So I kicked myself in gear and went zooming down the corridors and hallways until I got to one of the main stairways and pumped my wings hard to fly straight up. I didn't even need to scan about to see what level the explosion had been at, there was a whole heap of commotion to be seen around the top level entry and that was my set target.   
I swooped up and over the heads of the people racing about and continued along the corridor, people shouted, screamed and cursed at me as I passed but I didn't mind, there was something weird going on and I wanted to know what it was. The air felt odd,   
there was a draft for one... and stronger than normal. It smelt weird as well and it was warmer than it should be, it wasn't moving right either. I passed through a cloud of dust and suddenly there was more people and dirt and rocks all around me. Rocks larger than I'd ever seen before. I didn't know you could get rocks as big as a man before then. They didn't have any of those in the Facility. But that wasn't the big thing that hit me.. Above..   
Above there was something blue and it looked as if it could go on forever. It was only a small picture and at the end of a tunnel of rock but I was sure I was right. It must go on forever...   
I wasn't paying attention anymore and only did again when I suddenly hit someone. My wings had stopped beating and I'd fallen ontop of a group of people trying to help someone out from under one of those man sized rocks. I wish I hadn't been so surprised as to do that, they probably wouldn't of noticed me as quickly and I could of seen that blueness for longer. But I had and they'd noticed me. Within moments I was grabbed and dragged away, garbbled messages reaching my ears but I couldn't hear them. My eyes tried to search for the gap in the roof for that blueness but it was gone. The men had dragged me out of range and away, into a room or something. I can't remember what it was.   
The men tried to speak to me, tried to make me hear. But I couldn't listen. My eyes had glazed over and I was reliving the moment over and over in my head. There had been an air current unlike anything I'd ever felt before. It ruffled my wing feathers and made the hair on the back of my neck stand up on end. It had scents that I'd never smelt before held tight to it and running through my mind. That blueness had gone on forever.. and I wanted it. I'd never seen anything like that before.   
My attention fell back in place as something hit me hard across the side of the face and I spat out some blood. My eyes refocused and I tried to glare at whatever it was that'd hit me but didn't get the chance as I suddenly became unconscious.   
I woke up a while later, unknown as time was never something I'd ever been able to grasp the concept of. Nothing changed within the Facility as time did. People still ate, still worked, still slept, still did everything at whatever time happend to suit. My own schedule was unknown to me as it changed too often for me to bother trying to keep track of and I depended on others to tell me of instead. I always found this worked better anyways.   
Inside my head thoughts were racing and I can pinpoint that moment as the time I stopped trusting what was said to me. Reassured of this suggestion as the first people to see me told me that they'd found me wondering about rambling about something and had to knock me out as I'd tried resisting them taking me somewhere to be looked at. I knew this wasn't right... They said I'd probably walked into one of the science areas and someone had been mixing chemicals as I went past and with my senses being as acute as they are... I don't know. I became drugged on it or something. But I hadn't been anywhere near the science areas. I never went near them, they always made me feel sick and any time I was told I needed to go to them for any reason I tried every possible way to get out of it. Why would I of just walked to the place of my own free will?   
I tried at first to convince them they were wrong and that what I'd seen was real. That I hadn't been halucinating or imagining things. But they just spoke over the top of me and confined me to my quarters for a couple of days. I think that was to put me off trying to bring the subject up again. I hated being confined. I had no excersize and I felt like I was going insane being unable to use my wings but to stretch them. But it didn't work. I continued to believe what I'd seen was real as I knew in my heart it was.. and I was determinded to find out what it was that I'd actually seen.   
I asked anyone and everyone I could. But no one would answer me, or they walked away or even gave me odd looks or just plain out lied. I started taking more attention to certain things within the Facility, like when people went away or when someone new arrived and I gained more interest in those places I wasn't allowed to go. Especially the ones on the first floor. But I was inhibited by a couple of things. After a while they stopped telling me who was leaving so I wouldn't know to follow them. They didn't let me near any of the new people for a very long time and by then they usually wouldn't even speak to me. I even tried to get to the place where I'd -seen- the blueness. But I wasn't allowed for ages and when I finally was it was just like any other time I'd seen it. There were no rocks the size of people, no dust, no weird air and especially no blueness in the ceiling. I didn't give up just like that though, I went and stood on that spot staring at where the blueness had been every chance I got, just hoping it'd appear again. But they even stopped me from doing that, telling me to go away and find something else to do... and when that didn't work to their liking they blocked off the entire section for my access. I was no longer allowed upon the top level, not that I'd ever really been allowed to most of it, but it was a disappointment.   
By then though I'd found out something else. It'd been by accident but it was wonderful. One of the people was leaving the Facility, unknown to me, both the person itself and the fact they were leaving, and I saw them leave! It was at the bottom most level. I'd been down there for a while already, searching through one of the storage areas for something that was needed for later, when I heard movement and voices. I followed them silently and a short distance behind, being most grateful for the openness of the storage space for the bottom level. The sounds stopped and suddenly I felt that strange air again. It rushed my senses and my mind reeled at it. I tried to see better where it was coming from, how these people had made it. I flew atop one of the higher piles of things and watched them. My feathers ruffled and I did all I could to keep myself from cooing with pleasure at that weird and wonderful feeling I seemed to get from this strange essence. They were stood infront of a normal looking black doorway that I'd never really paied attention to before. It was wide open now and that was where the strange air was coming from. But there was no blueness this time. There was a tiny room with a large set of doors on the other side of it, lit by a single hanging chain and globe from the roof. I watched as they entered into the small room and pressed a panel next to the large double doors and they opened. Inside was another small room, but it had no doors or anything, it looked like a dead end to me... but then I realised. It was an elevator. I forget about those sort of things sometimes as I prefer to use my wings to get anywhere, plus I've always felt cramped in tiny areas. I get claustrophobic. I watched as the person who was leaving entered inside of the elevator, the people said their goodbyes and the large doors closed. I watched anxiously as the first door was closed and I could no longer feel the strange air and was once again alone. I got myself down from atop the pile of storage material and to the door in a single short swoop and tried to get the door open and that feeling back again. The door was locked though and despite all my want to break it down and go into the next room I suddenly found myself scared and ran.   
It was a while again before I went and looked at the door again, just to make sure it really was real and I hadn't imagined it and to see if it was still locked if it was real. It was both. I checked all the seals, even getting down on my hands and knees to try under the door but all I could do was pick up the faintest of faint scents. It was enough though and from then on I decided I was going to find out where that elevator went, I wanted to know where the strange air came from more than ever and I was now determinded to do so at any expense. My mind was made up. I put more effort into finding out who was leaving and when and it took four before I figured out a plan of what to do. Mostly as once I was too late and another time they left through another way. But I had a plan set out. I was going to find my answers for myself as no one would tell me.   
It felt like forever before I got my chance though it was probably actually a shorter amount of time than any of the previous ones and I had a couple of things I had to do first. And despite the feelings of it taking forever I was at my wits end the time I knew it was to happen. I got myself out of my activities for the entire day, pretending I was sick or something and waited for them to come. Again it was a forever wait and then as it happend it felt like as if it was going much much too fast. But it wasn't a worry, I could only do what I needed once the person had left.   
It's a blur exactly what it was I did but I know I did and I found myself inside that elevator and going somewhere unknown and I felt scared.... but I was also excited. More excited than I could ever remember being if ever. My senses were reeling again, the air was alive with strange scents mixed in with some of the more common ones I was used to. I breathed it in as I waited for the elevator to come to a stop, using it as a distraction from being in a confined space,   
The elevator finally stopped and the doors opened onto a tunnel lit very sparcely and I walked slowly along it, there was a strong light at the end and it was the only place I could head towards as there were no doors or anything. So I walked forwards and as I did I realised that the light was blue at the end of the corridor and the lights around me were disappearing as I got closer, the blueness over taking their visibility. I was swimming on my senses as I suddenly found myself out in the open surrounded by unknown everythings. Except maybe the two walls on either side of me and the concrete below my talons, but even those were weird. Nothing was white or grey or anything, I was looking at blacks an browns an other colours I didn't have names for. But this was nothing compared to that blueness that shone above me and infront of me above a wall of some kind that looked as if I could push it over without any effort.   
My wings spread and I ran forwards, flapping them within moments and off the ground before even coming close to this strange wall and I was airborne not like in any sense I'd ever been before. I was really in the air! A group of people screamed as I flew past and above them and up and up and up and up. Below me was a world unknown, large structures standing tall in the air and looking rather intruding upon it with unroofed passageways leading everywhere between them and then people and some sorts of other things moving around along those! But above me... oh my. It was unbelievable. It went on forever, it felt like as if if I really wanted to I could just keep going up and up and up and up and never stop... It was the most bueatiful thing I'd ever seen before in my life.  
I beat my wings hard and I soared, I really soared! I past through these weird white things that from a distance looked somewhat fluffy and soft but just ended up being like some sort of cool mist that left droplets of water on me everywhere.   
I laughed. I cried. I did things I never thought I could do. I tested my wings to their full extent like I'd never been able to do before. I travelled over a distance I didn't know was possible and kept going as this unknown place just went on forever and ever and I wanted to see all of it. I wanted to experience this blueness for all eternity just like it seemed to go on for. I saw things below me that puzzled me to no end, things that I'd never even imagined, larger things of examples I'd seen within the Facility, but this, this was just all unbelieveable... I was on a high like nothing I'd ever been before. There were even other creatures in the air! Things like me but smaller and seemingly better built for flying than I was in completition. Most of them flew away whenever I approached but it didn't matter. Just to watch them they were beautiful...  
Then the world started to grow dark.  
It was amazing. The giant yellow light in the blueness had been slowly falling out of it for some time already and the blueness was changing through a selection of brilliant colours, the white things even changed colours along with it. I nearly fell out of the air in wonder as I bodily froze. And then! And then small tiny dots of sparkling white started to appear all over the darkening now purpleness that was very quickly becoming some sort of black. It made me breathless and dizzy and I found myself needing to land somewhere, plus my wings were becoming worn out.   
I tried to put it off as long as possible, swooping an spinning in the speckled black but fatigue was starting to take over my limbs and I found myself looking more to the world below than that of above, trying to figure out if it was safe to land anywhere. Everything was so strange and new and I didn't know if any of it was dangerous or what it was or what it would do or anything. Finally I decided on a large area of seemingly lumpy ground that was built up in large lumps and covered in waving greenish stuff. I landed surprisingly lightly and found the ground to be not exactly ground as the waving stuff reached up to about halfway to my knees and it was soft and springy when stepped on. I smiled to myself and with a laugh flared out my wings as I spun around on my claws an let myself fall backwards onto my back upon this weird surface. Laughing more as it seemed to sink a little underneath me and I found a small wall of the stuff around me on all sides. But above.. above there was an endless expanse of this strange darkness that wasn't like anything I'd experienced before. There was light in it unlike at the Facility, there it was either the bland bright lights of everywhere, like the corridors and rooms while occupied. Or there was the half light when you got the emptish rooms that were just waiting for someone to enter them and only part of the lights would be on. Then there was the dead black of no lights. The sounds were different out in the open as well. There was nothing like the humming of electrical gear or the sounds of shuffling feet as people walked places or even the sounds of voices. Instead there were just sounds that I couldn't put names to and it was peaceful. I felt totally at ease and at peace with myself like nothing I'd ever felt before.   
And I fell asleep, I don't know how I possibly could of with my senses so alive but I did somehow...  
And awoke back in the Facility.  
They tried to convince me I'd been halucinating again, that what I'd seen wasn't real. What I'd experienced wasn't real... But I wouldn't believe them. I knew they weren't telling the truth. I couldn't of ever in my wildest dreams imagined what I'd done. It had to be real, I had to of really done it. It was just so increadible....   
  
That's when they threw me in here.   
Into the darkness.  
To forget.  
To go back to believing them again...  
I can't see... I can't move...  
But I can remember and I always will.  
That eternal blueness that went on forever  
When I could just fly on and on and on and there was nothing to stop me..  
I will always remember, even if I'm left in this darkness forever.   
I can always just imagine it in my mind..  
A Pidgeot who can't fly outside their dreams,  
Who lives within the darkness of nothingness..  
Forever. 


End file.
